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Subject: Why do I ruin cheese sauce?

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I don't make macaroni cheese any more.  Because when when I stir in the cheese, I've got a disaster.  It starts to melt into the thickened milk, but then it separates or even curdles. I've tried with reduced fat cheese, with store-brand cheddar, and with Cabot's sharp cheddar.  No success.
 
Here is the recipe.  My husband seems to have no trouble with it, and has shown me the technique several times.  What could I be doing wrong?  Thanks for your help.

Here is the recipe (it wouldn't fit in the message above)
 
2 tablespoons margarine
4 teaspoons onion minced
1 tablespoon all purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon dry mustard
1/4 teaspoon ground white pepper
2 cups skim milk
8 ounces 50% reduced-fat cheddar cheese grated
Melt the margarine in a saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the onion, flour, dry mustard, and white pepper to the pan. Slowly stir in the milk. Cook, stirring frequently, until smooth and hot, about 8 minutes.
Add the cheese to the pan and stir just until it is melted, about 10 seconds

In general, the less you heat cheese the better.  Try to get it to room temperature first, and then add the cheese only at the very end to a low-heat pan.  Do not add it to a very hot pan, or keep it on the burner for a long time. 

Maybe that's where I've gone wrong -- sometimes the cheese looks like it is not going to melt, and I add just a little more heat...

In most cases, you want to add time, not heat.  Cheers!

So I'll have to try trusting it to melt eventually.  Thanks!

Steve, I  have now graduated on cheese sauce.  I made sure I allowed enough time for my white sauce to thicken properly.  Then, I left the heat off and stirred in the cheese.  I was patient.  Eventually, it all melted! 
 
I've even learned that Jack cheese does not make the smoothest of cheese sauces.
 
Thanks for your advice.

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